I Am Spartan

On August 17th at 2:15pm I joined my husband and our friend on a 5K journey to become Spartans. We went through mud (that smelled like cow poop), a stream, over walls, under barbed wire and through the fire. It took over 2 hours for our team to finish, but we made it. Team Rocket! AROO! I was grateful that my husband was with us because his strength and height advantage helped more than I could have known beforehand. Along the way we were helped by, and gave a hand to, other Spartans. I would like to do another one at some point. I realize that I need to work hard core on upper body strength. I don't know how anyone could have climbed up a rope with all the mud we had on us. I felt 20lbs heavier just from my mud soaked shoes. It was crazy and amazing. I did feel amazing jumping over the 4ft and 5ft walls.

After the run we dove into the ocean to clean the mud off. Yes, there was a "shower" station, but it was more like a limp hose. The Pacific made a fantastic bath. The water near the shore was mud-colored from so many Spartans. The salt in my wounds was painful,but welcome. The water was warm compared to the windy air. We made the mile and a half walk back to the car and I realized how tired I was by how little I cared about being naked in this make-shift parking lot. I didn't want the muddy, salty, wet clothes on me. I brought a change of clothes but seriously thought about just driving home in fresh underware.


Sunday I was content to lay on the couch all day and not move. Well, it was the last day for the Made in Hawaii Festival at the Blazedale Center. I wanted to go so bad, so I got my bruised body up and went to see what there was to see. There were tons of jewlry shops. I feel like there is a boom in the homemade/handmade jewlry. I did like some of what I saw, but I don't wear the stuff enough. There were clothings sales, cookies and other baked goods. I'm not sure how much was at a discount, but I was told that a lot of these vendors only do fairs/ festivals. I should have taken pictures, but I took Mercy (snuck her in the doggie sling), so my hands were full. There was one amazing artist there who takes whale bone and fossils and makes amazing designes for jewlry. I was really impressed by the quality avaiable. I bought some coconut peanut butter, chocolate coconut peanut butter, and macadamia nut coconut peanut butter. The ingrediants for each are in the name. The products are smooth and creamy. The flavor is amazing! I will not buy another peanut butter as long as I am on the island.

I also bought two apple-poi pupcakes from Hawaii Doggie Bakery. Mercy loves their products, and so do I. They are opening a store next month. I am so happy for the owners. If you are in Hawaii and need some puppy treats, visit www.hawaiidoggiebakery.org There were a lot of baked treats to sample. I think next year I'll try more. I almost regret not getting the rum cake I tried. MMM, it was moist and delicious. But I can't have sweets around the house too much.

After walking around the festival for over four hours, we decided to go to Ward Warehouse for some lunch. I found my favorite American-style Chinese place on the island. The Sechuan Eggplant wasn't so good, but the fried rice and noodles were AMAZING. Overall, this was a great weekend. Even if I did end up bruised and cut up.

Adventures in the Kitchen

So a few days ago I had a burger from the freezer section and I told Anthony I could do way better than the freezer-meat people. We don't eat burgers often, so prepackaged ones are a nice convenience, but why can't I just make them and freeze them for later? I totally can.


I started with herbs: green onions, sage, two basil leaves, all grown in my house. I didn't measure. I'm terrible at measuring unless I'm trying to follow a recipe.

Added two cloves of garlic.

Lean beef (1.5Lbs) and eggs (I only used 2. Let them warm up a bit). Not pictured is the oregano I used. Didn't come from my herb garden and didn't measure that mess either. =D

Oh, that extra stuff at the bottom is oatmeal (1 cup). I swear that somewhere I read or heard about an oatmeal substitution for bread crumbs. It was probably for a meatloaf... I've read so many option and ideas about food that they usually get mixed up in my head and I can't remember where I read what or how the hell I got the ideas I get. I always double check pinterest to see if I've got an idea from a recipe there (and then can just replicate it rather than experiment with my own taste buds), but I didn't find anything for oatmeal burgers. I've also decided that Anthony is going to freak out when I try to make him eat this. AND that if people are going to freak out because of some meat-oat combination maybe pureeing the oats and herbs would be a good idea.

Get your hands dirty.

I made a poquito patty to try. I totally ate it before I took a picture. It was delicious.

 I bought really crappy parchment paper, so I oiled the paper in hopes that the paper won't stick to the meat.

I promise to update when it passes the Anthony taste-test.

Beast Mode

Between looking for jobs and applying for school I have been feeling kind of crazy. Oh, and this Spartan Race this weekend. That should be fun.

Really, though. I'm excited to try this race out. Since I have some time on my hands I went ahead and read the training manual that the race creators give out free for signing up for a race. I read about the history and reason behind obstacle course racing (and they have training programs for people who are getting ready to compete). I realized that a lot of humans are grasping at an idea that turns into a life style. I am grasping an idea. I am realizing a new lifestyle. I must have known in my cells that this life I have is more rewarding when there is struggle that leads to growth.

Let's talk about that. Struggle in and of itself MAY be good, but I don't think so. If your struggle begets more struggle then what's the point? If you aren't moving forward--learning, growing, and changing--you are stagnant. You die. Okay, maybe not die completely, but your brain stops learning, your muscles stay unchanged and you may even reverse any progress you made previously. However, when struggle begets growth (spiritual, mental, physical) we become more of who we really are as individuals--become who we have wanted to be. We can even make growth come from a struggle that has been going on for years, and from struggles that may have seemed worthless. All of life has lessons for us, we just have to look for them.

The first time I realized I enjoyed struggle was when I joined the high school soccer team. I played for three years and in that time I got fatter. I'm not sure how or why that happened, but I do know that I enjoyed working with a team (even if it was with hormonal teenage girls. We mostly got along). I still hated working out, but I enjoyed the competition and the struggle to make my body do something it had never done before. Why didn't I have this drive before? Shouldn't I have tried harder in P.E. classes? No. I believe that P.E. teachers don't learn passion for what they are teaching. Maybe my teachers had been teaching too long. Maybe they were teaching only so they could coach high school sports. People who are passionate about heath will work where they can also earn a comfortable living. They should! They have trained, been educated, and have valuable skills to pass along. Teaching jobs don't usually give the gratification that working in other areas do. I'm talking about passion because when someone is passionate about something you can't help but feel their excitement and get a little excited, too.

The next time I realized I enjoyed struggle was in Misawa, working with Carlos Elliott. Talk about passion! This man was birthed by boxing at a time when boxing legends were still kicking it. He pushes his students farther than they could imagine. In a blunt way of teaching a student to "sink or swim," he takes you out to the middle of the lake and throws you out of the boat. If you have the grit to make it, you'll come out a champion. I realized there that I was in pain, I was struggling to breath, but I was becoming the kick-ass champ I had always wanted to be. Most nights at that gym were tough; I've almost passed out, been bruised, cried a time or two. I was motivated and I met some amazing people who helped me become better.

Now here I stand. At least 5 days and an obstacle race between me and my next post. For the past two weeks I have been in beast mode--working hard, sweating a lot, eating clean--making sure I am the best possible version of myself. I fully realize that my current "beast mode" will be my future warm up. I'm excited to get there.

In talking about struggles, sweat, and tears, I don't want to forget one other fact of life that is sometimes the greatest struggle. Transformations take time, and everyone's time is different. There is no one plan that works for all people at all times. I took longer than a year to work my way down. I stopped at a lot of plateaus, I re-gained sometimes, I didn't want to give up foods I had always loved. Sometimes changing my diet and exercise felt impossible, but I did it on my terms and when I was ready. If you aren't ready to make the change--ready in body (planning), mind (determination) and spirit (patience)--you won't go as far as you can.

Is it the Hormones?

I am having a terrible day for apparently no reason. Maybe its the hormones.

I went to WebMD to look up some information about PMS and hormones. Guess what? They don't have any good information about why these things happen which makes me suspicious of androcentric medicine and research. The suggestions to combat crazy hormones include having a balanced diet and maintaining a healthy level of activity. I have a good diet, I exercise. I still think its the hormones.

Or maybe its the moon.

Either way, I can't seem to keep my focus on any one thing. I tried to clean the kitchen and ended up getting corn meal all over the place. I've also been craving sweets all day. I ate them. I crumbled to the cravings. I am trying to put myself back on track with a green kale smoothie.

So another facet of my awesome hormonal phase is that I get very short with people. I'm pretty blunt as is, but during hormonal times I have even less patience than usual. So I told you all that to tell you this:

I was having a conversation with a person of the male persuasion when he said to me that I "should be treated like...ah nevermind." I'm 99% sure he was going to say, "like a princess" or something to that effect. It pissed me off to no end. Usually I don't care when people say things like that. I try not to sweat the small stuff; in the long run it makes no real difference to me. But like I said, this comment on this day pissed me off.

Why do people have to think that way? I have the fierce attitude of a princess, but I am not the type to spend all day every day being pampered or lazy. I work hard and I enjoy the fruits of my labor--a clean and organized house, healthy plants (mostly), a healthy body and mind, and a healthy family. I would be so bored laying around all day. I need to exercise my body and mind daily. I know some women prefer having more seditary lifestyle, I am not one of them and it is offensive to me when people assume that women would want to live like that. Being pampered is nice every once in a while, but I'm not interested in being placed in a category above anyone else. I have pretty bad balance, I imagine I'd fall off a pedestal pretty easily. Don't get me wrong, the sentiment is sweet. However, the statement is sexest. Unless, of course, he would also say that to another man.

And after some more thought on the subject the root of my distaste for the sentiment that women should be treated like princesses goes even deeper. The kind of people who say these things also expect their little "princesses" to never complain, to be always cheerful and bend to the whim of their provider. Some trophy wives are nothing but high class whores who are paid to have sex and be great actresses for guests. At a certain point they lose the ability to create their own lives.My other issue is that "princess" status is usually reserved for attractive females. Not all real princesses look like Grace Kelly. People need to get over the pedestal mentality.   

I have the pleasure of having a partner who makes me feel like a princess almost every day. He lets me have my fits, he supports my aspirations, and he never makes me feel like I have to do anything or be anything other than what I want to do or be. And in return I support him in his career, I take care of the house and I try to understand the things he is interested in even though I don't always find them fun pastimes. We lift each other up, we are each others royalty.

Detox Day 6-7

Ooooo Saturday was rough. Breakfast went well. I had an early snack of an apple because I was really tired.

Then Anthony surprised me with a trip to Buffalo Wild Wings (B-Dubbs) which is one of my favorite places to eat. Of course I wasn't supposed to have chicken wings, so I didn't. I had a Mediterranean  salad. I totally ate the pita bread that came with it. It was delicious. And then I stole a mozzarella stick from Anthony. I have no regrets!

We had to go to a birthday party. I'm so glad I ate the salad because there were no veggies in the place and only some apple and strawberries for me to snack on. I did well there. Dinner was the rest of the salad. And I was feeling glutenous so I ate a carrot cake protein bar. To be honest, that's not terrible eating. Okay, I didn't stick to the plan, but plans have to be flexible; life happens. Like I said before, I have so much respect for people who can stick to their guns even 90% of the time when it comes to special diets.

Today (Sunday) hasn't been terrible. My sweet tooth is acting up. I'm eating chocolate tomorrow. Really, there's nothing exciting to write home about. plain oatmeal, plain steamed veggies, and as a snack protein bars (water isn't a snack! Even if it does have veggie leftovers in it).

I have decided that people who use liquid drink diets bought from stores would do well to just make green smoothies as a meal replacement. The smoothies are delicious and healthy. Do I think I'll ever do another detox? I have no clue. I do think I'll make some of these smoothies a regular part of my diet. Most likely I will repeat the smoothies that include kale because while it is a super food, I haven't found a particular desire for it yet. The sweet/ fruit smoothies would be good to calm the beast inside me that demands sugar and dessert. All in all I think this was a good week and a good experiment. I definitely feel better now than I did before I started.

FiveDay (Friday)

I woke up and TOTALLY forgot it was Friday. It didn't matter, though. I did my work out with Ms. Jenni--we went to a local elementary school and used the jungle gym for sprints, push-ups and pull-ups. I also finished laundry even though the dryer is broken. Anthony and I have a visitor for the next few weeks. His name is Grommit and he's a friend of Mercy. They've been getting along really well. I had no idea how much energy Mercy has until today. The two pups played and played and played; it is hilarious to watch.

Today's eating was not according to plan. Breakfast was the same smoothie with added whey protein; good, but not filling enough. I ate an early snack. I like the pistachios in the shell because it takes time to eat them. Lunch was a salad, nothing thrilling about that. Snack on some more pistachios and early dinner of veggie soup. I was still feeling unsatisfied, so I ate some cheese and a protein drink.

I really feel normal for the most part. I miss chicken. I told Anthony I'm making homemade BBQ chicken (yes, I make my own sauce) and coleslaw for Monday. With that in mind, I've realized some things about myself over the past few days:

1) I can't live without cheese. I can probably go without moo milk and yogurt, but I can't live happily without cheese.

2) I am made to eat meat. I can live on fish and chicken boobs and enjoy the occasional chopped up cow, but I cannot live life without flesh. I have mad respect for people who go without animal products on their plates. I am weak for a delicious tasty dead animal. In the spirit of being healthy I really do try to keep meat to fish and chicken breast with no breading, no skin, no heavy sauces.

3) Grains/ carbs are amazing. People who know me know that I try to stick with whole grains and I usually only eat one slice of bread (with peanut or almond butter) a day as breakfast. I'm usually really bad at eating sandwiches open face style. I have to ration pasta, and by ration I mean I can't have it in the house unless other people are coming over to eat it. But I love pasta. I love the carb high after not indulging for a while.

4) Chocolate/ desserts. I have successfully converted to dark chocolate and can usually only take a bite or two of the bars I keep in the freezer. I grew up on sweets, fried foods, fast food, meats, and white bread. I know that at an evolutionary level humans are driven towards fat, sweet, and salty because the cycle used to be "Feast and Famine." The human body isn't meant for processed and prepackaged "foods" that are available all the time. Some people find a little bit of sweet to be enough and I really do envy those people. I would say I have come a long way learning to control my sweet tooth and changing what I find sweet and satisfying. However, I still love a hot brownie with cold ice cream and chocolate sauce.

In the universe of SUPER clean eating and SUPER physical health I would like to think I'm average. I am totally fine being average and living an average life and eating healthy 80-85% of the time. I don't need to be the most fit, I just want to be healthy and balanced. My idea of health and balance isn't going to be the same  as others'; it probably won't be the same five or ten years down the road, and that's cool. I don't ever expect to be a size 4. Three years ago I never would have guessed I'd be a size 6. Although I have (mostly) always been positive about how I looked and felt I can really tell a difference now that I am eating more cleanly and going outside to exercise. I'm finding balance with every new day.

What does balance look like for you? What will you find you can or can't live without once you try something new?

Detox Day 3 and 4

Right, so even though today is Thursday I'm writing about Wednesday. It was kind of a boring day. I almost didn't drink the last shake but I remembered the thing about the calories and made it anyway. Mentally I am wide awake and energized. My body is finally catching up with my mind. I feel like I have more energy but I would also say its a calm energy; I'm not hyper, I don't feel the need to run out the energy. I can concentrate more on tasks and make better sense of things going on around me. I feel closer to myself and to nature.

I have always told people to listen to their bodies which takes a measure of concentration and, in my opinion, meditation (of some kind). We have to be quiet with ourselves so we can dig deep, or let what has been buried float to the surface. People in this society have been very successful at distracting themselves from pretty much anything that matters. Mentally we don't want to deal with our own issues (including family, friends, intimacy, being alone) so we seek out these distractions to alleviate the pain that comes with getting to know ourselves and our emotions. A great outcome of being quiet and alone is getting in touch with someone we may have never met, but whom we have always wanted to be. Our potential lives inside of our heads/hearts and the journey is taken on the road of meditation. Some people have it easy--they know who they are and who they want to be. Some people have to work to break down their own misconceptions about self to discover that they can be--and they are--who they want to be. We all need a mild case of narcissism to boost our confidence and fall in love with ourselves. Yes, you should LOVE yourself--fully and in every way. We have to stop letting the outside world tell us we're not good enough. You have to be good enough for you. You have to answer to your own gods and morals.

The reason people do detox/ cleanse diets successfully is because they are getting back in tune with their own bodies and minds. (I assume the same should go for fasting). Intentions may be different but the results are the same--physical, mental, and spiritual well being can be restored by turning the focus from our so loved physical distractions or impurities towards something more satisfying. As always, the journey is important no matter how rough the road may be.

I may as well throw Thursday's observations up here, too. Life gets more beautiful every day. I get to eat some solid food (celery, carrots, cucumber and a veggie soup) Thursday-Saturday. For breakfast I made a modified version of the Coconut Milk Smoothie by adding 1/2 cup of almond milk and 1/2 cup of coconut water since I forgot to buy coconut milk. This was a delicious drink and I'm going to make it for the next two days for breakfast. Plus protein powder for thickness and because I will start working out every morning.

I was able to visit Sunset Beach (pictures coming soon), which is an AMAZINGLY beautiful beach. The waters were as clear as pool waters. The sun was warm and the clouds were welcome. For lunch my girl friend wanted to try Maui Mikes. I've heard this place is amazing and instead of having my salad today I splurged on a side order of green beans and some watermelon that my friend had brought. I laughed at the situation, but I was glad that my stomach didn't roll when I saw what other people were ordering (roll in the sense that I wanted the chicken to eat). The sign on the wall says the chickens are fresh, never frozen, and organic as can be. I'll have to go back one day for the shredded chicken breast. The green beans were delicious. For an afternoon snack I made the Super Detox Green Smoothie. I thought there wasn't going to be enough juice to support the vegetable leaves so I added a bit of coconut water. I probably added too much, but it was tasty so I don't care. Although I have not made the soup yet I am really, really looking forward to it.